Most people believe you'll meet God if/when you get to heaven. So in anticipation you try to do more right than wrong, at least when you're being watched, so you can feel better about your chances of being granted into heaven.
You spend everyday however in constant fear of how you're going to pay your bills. You spend every night wide awake replaying your miserable state terrified to fall asleep because of the nightmares that await you. This explains why you're always on edge. Anything at any point is what it will take for to loose your shit.
Yet you're holding on by your fingernails praying to God for his mercy. If you knew God you would know he would never harm you or let harm come your way. You are the one who chooses to worry about what's not in your control anyway.
The bible says do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. This means take your mind out of tomorrow and trust that God knows what he's saying because he knows what's he's doing because he's the one in control, not you.
You're told this by others to encourage you but they're not completely convinced either because they know exactly how you feel. They worry just as much as you do, if not more. You're hanging on because you say you believe one thing yet do the other. You can't say you have faith and still worry. It's a contradiction, it's either one or the other. There is no compromise in God.
You meet God when there is nothing left to hold onto and you surrender because you have no other choice. Chances are, if there were something, anything else, you would cling on in hopes it will save you from your inner most fears.
You'll meet God the moment you realize he is in control. You can let it all fall away by knowing he will never hurt or deceive you. Any pain or suffering you go through is brought on by yourself because you made the wrong choice. This doesn't mean you won't feel sorrow, anger, stress, etc., it means because you will have those feelings, you ought to give them to God and not hold on to them because they are precisely what blocks you from meeting God.
You'll meet God when you have nothing left to hold onto. You'll meet God the instant you realize He's the one in control and because it is Him that's in control, how could there be anything to worry about?
You'll meet God when you choose peace over your "stuff." You'll meet Him because the Holy Spirit is the gap that bridges you to God. You don't have to wait until you go to heaven. Go now, He's waiting for you to give him your stuff so he can exchange it for His peace. Peace
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