Perhaps the reason you don't trust is because you believe what you see rather than what you know to be true (you just forgot!) As a result, you either build a wall believing it will protect you and keep you safe or you cling to anything/anyone, hoping and praying you won't get disappointed or hurt again! You continue to suffer because you know what the Truth is but you're so fragile, lost, confused, angry, hurt, resentful, depressed, etc., that when brought to Truth, your response is "I know, you're right, but..."
Please know, "but" is Ego's trick to turn you away from Truth so you will continue to depend on it for protection. "But" disregards everything you see in Truth because Ego drapes Fear over it. This explains why you think "the Truth hurts." Truth doesn't hurt, it doesn't have that capability. What hurts is when your state of denial is stripped away and all of what Ego made up and convinced you to believe is true is gone with the wind and all you're left standing with is TRUTH. If you continue to refuse to accept Truth (reality) for what it is, you will continue to bring suffering upon yourself - and you know misery loves company!
The only way to know the difference between what's real and what's made up is when guided by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will show you what Ego made up is not real. How? Step into the light and Ego is not there. Step into reality (Truth) by remembering who you are and all of what you know doesn't make sense (but continue to defended) will be exposed for the foolishness that it is. Do not waste another minute on what can never be undone (Past.) Know everything happens for a reason. The one and only reason is for you to see it as a test to determine your loyalty. Choose to be in Peace in the midst of turmoil for then your loyalty is in knowing Who God is and trusting Him through all things.
Ego, knowing it's always on borrowed time, needs consistent reassurance from you of your allegiance to it. "Don't worry, you're safe with me" Ego says, as it continues to cause conflict and drama. Choose instead to know this, your only place of safety is in Peace and that is found only when led by the Holy Spirit Whom will remind you of what you already know. "Be Still And Know That I Am God" means just that! Stop in the moment, recognize Who God is (the creator of the Universe - you would think He knows what He's doing...just saying!) and know, simply because of Who God is, there is never a need to worry because you're safe no place else but in the arms of God! Peace
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