Sugar Honey Iced Tea!

I'd like to give you some perspective on what SH*T really is - Nothing. Because it's seen or taken for something else or at the very least, for what it's not, we have those who believe guns should be allowed in schools! Are you ready??? Let's go!

SH*T comes in the form of anything negative. Please remember that as I explain to you what I mean. Parents, this may hit home for you. Is it possible for you to believe one or two of your children are special and the other(s) not? Or how about this one? Setting house rules, for example and establishing chores for one (with a list of specific details as to how you expect them done), while giving chores to the other but with details contradicting the first list as to how they should be done, lastly giving no rules/chores whatsoever to the last sibling. How well do you think that will go over? How long do you think that will last before there is a complete uprising because of what's not fair? Soon after, will the arguments start over what chore should be done first, which list is correct (although they all came from you) and/or if there is a reward for completion. Can you imagine the (unnecessary) chaos???

Who in their right mind would create such problems for themselves? Would you agree most parents love their children equally? Talents, personalities, interests, etc., make each one unique but the love is equal for all, it doesn't change - agreed? So why is it still believed the race of one group is considered to be superior to others? Or the way one group worships is the only right way? How about these lovely ones? Women are inferior to men. LGTBQ are hell bound. The poor or homeless don't matter. The elderly are on their your own. The lame and sick are invisible. Overweight/obese are judged and looked down upon. Criminals should be cast away. The wealthy are respected. The young and "beautiful" are preferred.  I mean the SH*T goes on for days generations!  Yet this is the SH*T we continue to teach our children.  SH*T also comes in the form of attack (rude email, text, Facebook post, cheating, arguments, gossip, bullying, lies, etc.) Can any of it stand on its own in logic? If no, you must see it as nothing -  SH*T, because it means absolutely nothing.

Come on, stay with me here - it gets better! Your imagination is required for this activity.  Imagine each and everyone one of us (human beings) without the SH*T. Now what is there to be in conflict about? Because you know what SH*T is, you won't spread it around but instead recognize it as a cry for help instead of a personal attack on you. When we're able to see someone in full rage (like a pit bull foaming at the mouth) spewing venom and recognize it as nothing but SH*T we're then able to not allow it to become our SH*T. By keeping your peace which in essence dissolves SH*T into the nothingness it really is when we've given our children the "golden rule." At that point do you think the need for guns in schools will be anything but SH*T??? You decided.

Where do I begin?

Where else would you begin but right here, right now? We all know it's not possible to go back to last week, for example, press the "reset button" and begin again. There is no reset button people!!! My intention is to heal and not harm so please know that as you continue reading.

We all, at one point or another, have put things off saying "Oh, that can wait 'till tomorrow", or "The due date isn't until Tuesday." How about these? "When I get my degree...", "When I find the right partner...", "When I lose this weight...", "When I get that dream job..."blah blah blah - the list goes on but I'm sure you get the gist of where I'm going with this.

You see dreams, aspirations, goals, etc. come from one place - an idea. Ideas come to those with a clear mind. One that is open and ready for whatever tests/opportunities that show up. Perhaps they're always there but we're too busy "chasing our dreams" to even notice - imagine that? You see, you never have to chase your dreams - dreams don't run from you! It's only when you stop, take a breath (take a few!), and sit in silence (peace) for a minute is when you're more likely to experience an "Ah Ha!" moment. You may say "that was a coincidence" but at some point you'll need to see it for what it is (the Power of God) or you'll either experience them occasionally or not at all because you've returned to your state of mindless mind chatter.

It's mindless chatter because it's usually about what you can't change or do anything about anyway. Besides those listed above (which keep you stagnant) here are some examples of mindless mind chatter:

"I can't believe she/he did that to me" - Believe it, it's done!

"I'll never forgive him/her" - You'll bring pain and suffering on yourself.

"How will that get done?" - Have a little faith (the size of a mustard seed will do) - God is always in control.

"When will that ever happen for me?" - When you're ready. You're ready the minute you decide to be - when you're still and open to what's presented to you. 

"How long will I have to...?" - Stop that thought right in its track and say "Just this." Anything else is a waste of time and energy.

Listen, there is no other way around it - either you continue doing the same thing expecting a different outcome or you try something different. What is more insane than continuing to do what you know doesn't work? Change comes the instant you're ready for it! You're ready as soon as you hit the off button (called Present Moment) and really engage yourself in whatever it is you're doing. Please don't confuse being present for being lazy. Those are two total different things. One is a state of mind, the other is a state of NOT doing.

Change comes not only when your mind is quiet, peaceful, still but it's also what you do in that moment. Here is where it all comes together! First off, you start (right) now and consciously choose peace not war, to help and not harm, invite not exclude, uplift not berate, share not withhold, love and that's it. Let this be your wake up call and not the diagnosis of a terminal illness or worse. Somewhere inside you know all this already - you just needed to be reminded that it all begins right here, right now! Peace

SURRENDER

Why does that word make us uncomfortable? Is it because we think it means you have to lose something or be at a disadvantage to surrender? Think war, waving the white flag in surrender is to give up, to quit. Does surrender to you mean to give up, to quit, defeat?

I'd like to offer a different perspective, if I may. Perhaps surrender is releasing all worries about what you're not in control of at this moment. Wondering how you're going to pay your rent, car note, school loan, medical bills, etc. Trying to figure out how you're going to make it another day. Feeling like life has a vice grip around your ribs and it's getting harder and harder for you to keep it together. The stress of worrying is showing its self in your mood/temperament your concentration, your appetite, etc.

You're either thinking about or are already taking/abusing some sort of "comfort pill" (i,e., antidepressant, sleep aids, alcohol, food, sex, pornography, gambling, etc.) If you haven't already figured it out, "comfort pills" just quiet down your worries, anxieties, distress, etc., they are by no means the answer nor do they provide you with the answer to your states of panic. Those "what if's" and "how will you's" are enough to make any relatively calm and rational person lose their sh*t. "We're only human" you say. As if to defend your state of reasoning which by the way you know has you on the wrong path, or you wouldn't need them to begin with!

Let's talk about not being able to change what can never be undone - the Past. How many of us would jump at the opportunity to go back in time and make some adjustments? When you're lost in envisioning what your new past would look like, you stay in denial of what your current situation is. As if it were some mix up you can go back in time and redo.

Denial of your reality doesn't mean accepting an uncomfortable situation. Denial is refusing to look at your situation for what it is. Having to look, evaluate and accept your current situation seems to be too horrifying, too big of a task to take on. When in fact it's only when you come out of denial and in to reality is when you'll be prepared to make sound rational decisions  rather than one from emotion and /or "comfort pills". I for one, know making decisions on emotion should be held back as they're the very ones that will have you looking like an A$$!

Surrender is to know and really understand that doing the best you're capable of doing at this moment is all that matters. Releasing all negative thoughts and feelings and choosing to be grateful for what you do have is what surrender means. Taking the time (because no more is given to you) to do what helps, heal, encourage, support, teach, bless, inspire, etc., is what surrender means. Allowing yourself to just be is surrender.

Silence of the mind chatter is surrender. Ever wonder why those on their "death bed" or at "death's door" seems so peaceful? Could it be they've come to realize and understand that none of the "stuff" really matters? Why wait until then for what will bring you peace now?  For the "believers" what does "Be still and know that I am God" mean to you? It means surrender to me. Peace

TRUTH

I'm on a roll baby!!! Let's get a better understanding of what Truth is. First off, there is only one Truth. Please do not believe in the "my truth" or "your truth" business. Because it's my truth doesn't make it Truth. The Merriam-Webster dictionary's definition of Truth is: the state of being the fact; the body of real things, events and facts. This seems like a fair definition to me - so lets move on, shall we?

Truth is undeniable, never changes, and needs no defending. Truth stands on its own and needs no witnesses. If/when Truth is masked with disguises ("little white lies") it becomes false. Whenever you "bend the truth a little" please know it is no longer Truth because it can't be bent. Truth is what it is - reality, facts, verity. Anything you "add or take away" from Truth is no longer Truth - it then becomes "your truth." What? You want more??? Ok!

Truth doesn't hurt! Truth heals. It's false that hurts because false has you believing it is Truth. When you see Truth for what it is, you feel what you think is the pain of reality because you've been in denial the whole time. False will bring you distractions (what you want) to disguise Truth so you can create what's true for you. Whenever you do this, prepare for pain and suffering. Because reality is what it is, anything else is a waste of time and energy. Is this not what creates misunderstandings, arguments, enemies, war? Remember time is not guaranteed to you so don't waste it creating or believing in what's false.

When we get to a point in this life time that we no longer need false to create our truth but accept Truth for what it is - is when we (mankind) will live together in Peace because then racism, bigotry, religion. sexism, politics, etc. will no longer exist and we will have "Heaven on Earth." PEACE

LOVE

What is LOVE you ask? I'll tell you what I know and you tell me if it's true.

Love. It's the only thing in this world that matters. It is the opposite of Fear. I know you're thinking No! Hate is the opposite of Love but let's go deeper shall we? Fear is the direct result of ignorance. We tend to fear what we don't know. Ignorance, the lack of knowledge is what keeps you from the truth. Anything but the truth is the result of misunderstandings, arguments, enemies and war. When we remember that we are the same (one human race) "hate" which is really fear will disappear. Please do comment and let me know your thoughts. Let's be mindful these discussions are to bring peace and love so if that's not your intention please keep it to yourself.


Now, back to Love. It knows no gender, color, age, race, religion. Love is patient, kind, understanding and yes, blind! Love is an action, not an emotion - "actions (love) speak louder than words." If asked the question "do you want peace or  war?" your actions will be the answer. Peace is not attained by doing but by being. Because we are one human race let that be the determining factor in how we treat one another (because we are one and the same.) When called upon, the power of Love WILL instantly repair, heal, and erase all of what fear has you believing is broken, hurt and/or unforgivable. Where Love is fear is not.

Because fear can not stay in the presence of Love, we (mankind) are released from its claws of shame, guilt, resentment, hatred, malice, anger, arrogance, etc. You'll find them in the darkness (think roaches YUCK!!!) yet turn on the light of Love and watch them flee! Don't take my word for it, try it out for yourself. If you're not convinced, let time continue to test you.

You should do better now that you know what Love is...don't thank me, just ask yourself, is it true?

Here is a classic piece I think you'll enjoy! If you haven't made into the 40's club yet just open your heart and groove along!
http://youtu.be/AuO6vKc_0iA

Mankind must put an end to war or war will put an end to mankind.
President John F. Kennedy
September 25,1961

Forgive...

If you don't already know this or may have forgotten, have a seat because you're about to be taken for a ride. Relax you'll be happy you did!

Let's talk about this "forgiveness" word - you know, the one that makes you look suspiciously thinking "what are you up to?" Well let's get into it. Forgiveness first off is needed as long as you fail to remember that nothing can hurt you unless you give it the power to do so. Secondly, forgiveness is offered not to let the "offender" off the hook but rather to free yourself from unnecessary pain, anger and resentment.

Too often we (un)consciously place the offense (and sometimes even the offender) as a clear picture in our mind as to not forget. Hence the term "forgive but don't forget." All the while this vivid picture is what you wake up with every morning and go to bed with every night - seems like if you have more than one offender, your bed can get pretty crowded! You see, the energy it takes to carry around that picture in your mind is maybe the real cause of constant tension headaches, insomnia, eating disorders, depression, cancer, heart disease, nightmares, etc. Meanwhile the offender is imprisoned in your cell of unforgiveness and only you hold the key to release yourself from the madness.

You don't remember. If you did, you would know if/when someone acts out in a hurtful manner its a cry for help. They've "attacked" because they feel threatened - think of a terrified animal - however by keeping your peace/sanity (which equals love and respect), you will not only pass the test but avoid suffering and help heal the world. Forgiveness is when you can see the other no longer as your offender but someone who acted out of fear. The choice to give up their power doesn't have to be yours too!

Hey, you're either part of the solution or you're part of the problem - you choose. Keep in mind forgiveness is yours as long as you keep it under lock and key but you can choose to trade it in for peace anytime you're ready!

Remember - it's all a test...

It's time!

Apart from tracking the hour, day, month and year, have you ever wondered what is the purpose of time? If you take a moment to think about it, other than recalling something from your memory  or preparing for the future, there is no real purpose for time. Know this, all one ever really has is this moment. I'm sure you've heard these terms "life is short", "one day at a time", "tomorrow is not promised", "yesterday is gone" "Rome wasn't built in a day", etc., but how many of us can say we really live in the moment?

I do it everyday all day but have been able to have it last for only a minute (maybe two) at the most. I would say "Ok, I'm going to stay (present) right here and finish what time doing" whether it be walking my dog, driving, doing laundry yet the very instant I'm done setting up the challenge, the most random thoughts come flooding back to distract me from what I set out to do. How I'm able to focus a little better now is by simply repeating "just this" to myself.

Whenever I find myself worried about anything, I say "just this" and bring myself back to what I'm doing at the time. However scary, and/or uncomfortable this new state of awareness (still) seem to be, I'm realizing anything else is nothing more than a waste of time and energy. If time is not guaranteed (I think we can all agree on that) then why waste it worrying about what you can't control or dwelling over what you can't change? Why? Because denial of the present moment is what keeps you distracted and trapped! Let me set up a scenario and you decide whether or not it's realistic to you. Here we go!

It's 6:30am Monday morning. Your alarm goes off and the first thing on your mind is your To Do List. What must get done today and/or what didn't get done yesterday. What I'm suggesting is to take a minute (that may be asking for too much - I know minutes are precious first thing in the morning - try 5 seconds) to take a slow deep cleansing breath and be grateful for the air you're breathing. That small start can be what it takes to shift your thinking pattern which has the potential to improve your mood, energy level AND mind set even if it doesn't last longer than what it takes for you to get out of bed.

I urge you to give it a try - start small and notice any improvement. If you want peace you must be willing to start somewhere. Here's a bonus! You don't have to wait until the morning - do it right now! You don't need time to do it. You do however need to be willing to quiet your mind in order to do so. No one but you can do that for you! It's amazing what a few good clean deep breaths (in through your nose and out through the mouth) can do for you. I mean you can't do a thing without it so use it wisely while you can by 1. being grateful you're breathing (on your own) and 2. remembering "just this."

There is no time like the present and that's real talk so wake up!

Cancer, what's the point?

I am consistently taken aback by how well my soon to be teen aged daughter (in 3 months!!!) seems to be handling life's tests. Here is what I was faced with at the very tender age of 12yrs old - Hodgkin's Lymphoma formerly known as Hodgkin's Disease.  Hodgkin lymphoma is a cancer of lymph tissue. Lymph tissue is found in the lymph nodes, spleen, liver, bone marrow, and other sites. 

I got my very first menstrual on a Sunday afternoon in January and was scheduled for surgery to have the lymph nodes removed the following (Monday) morning. Three lymph nodes were removed - one on both sides of the back of my neck (in my hair line) and the third in my groin. Imagine what that's like! First time getting my period and now having surgery...DOWN THERE - REALLY?!?!?? Well I'm grateful to say after going through 3 1/2 years of Chemo Therapy, Spinal Taps, Bone Marrow transplants, CAT Scans, etc. I am cancer free for over 30yrs. I used to ask myself "what was the purpose of that?" I know now the answer to that question is "to help your daughter get through what's she's going through at age 12." 

You see, my daughter was diagnosed with Psoriasis in January of this year. Coincidence? Maybe but I doubt it. Since then she has lost most of her hair (after dealing with a severely dry scaly scalp for at least three years before the diagnosis.) She dealt with that awful experience quite well. After the shock settled and the tears were wiped away, a fierce tiger was born! I cut what was left of her hair into an awesome Bob and she's been ROCK'n IT ever since. Throughout the incessant visits to one dermatologist after the other, visits to the specialists, home remedies, etc. my baby girl fell in love with fashion. She's always been a girly girl but the designing aspect of it really took on a life of its own. Her most recent triumph was deciding to put on a fashion show at school - revealing her clothing line (10 skirts, 2 dresses and 1 halter top - no kidding!) She also started a fashion blog to record all of her ideas. She even ties in current events "Naomi Campbell's show to tackle Ebola" This is my daughter at 12yrs old...REALLY??? 

To think back when my girls were 3 and 4yrs old I would get anxiety over this very stage, puberty/adolescence. I'd like to think it was the anxiety that jump started my quest to prepare my girls for what their bodies were about to go through. I've also prepared them for how to deal with life's challenges - remember, it's all a test...how well you do is contingent upon how present you are in each moment. By being able to look at your situation for what it is (no matter how hurtful, or ugly it seems) is at that point you're able to take the next step. If not, you'll suffer because you're stuck in denial (think quick sand) and won't be able to progress - in essence failing that test. Oh! But don't worry you'll be faced with another challenge (think of it as an opportunity) to learn from. 

You have your whole life to learn - wouldn't you rather get it right the first time? By staying in a state of peace and gratitude, you'll find life's tests are presented less and less often because you've learned from them and so they're no longer necessary. 

Living life in the present will then be less stressful, more peaceful and worth living! Be well.

   

Child like innocence taken away

Because of what human society has become (particularly in the Western World), Parents are reluctantly finding it imperative to take their child's innocence away instantaneously - as young as 3yrs old and starting Day Care. This is being done in order to prepare him/her for the injustice that may come their way.

In this process fear, mistrust, separation anxiety, etc. in the child is born. As the years go by we wonder why our society suffer from cancer, diabetes, obesity, heart disease, alcoholism, etc. at such an alarming rate. Could it be the very thing we're trying to do (protect our children) is what's part of the problem? Although the need to protect our children from such an aggressive media controlled culture one solution may be to tell the truth. Whenever the truth is disguised and/or hidden altogether suffering in one form or another is an absolute guarantee. Perhaps the instant we're able to see each other as our self (considering we are one human race) we will then be able to see and treat one another with love and respect.

It starts, for example with acknowledging  a stranger with eye contact, a nod, a smile or even a "good morning/evening." Being able to ask our ego to have a seat...outside and down the street can transform what may begin as a hostile or uncomfortable situation into one of communication and understanding which is peace (now who doesn't want a slice of peace now and again?) This state is attained the instant you're able to let go of the past and not lose sleep over the future. The longer you're able to stay in the present moment by feeling the breeze while walking and listening to the birds sing (I swear people forget birds sing.) Being trapped in your mind is what prevents  being able to even hear them because the thoughts in the mind are so many and so loud!!!

What has helped me begin to change the course of my life is reminding myself by saying "THIS IS A TEST" whenever I'm faced with a challenging situation. I swear I was blown away the first time I tried it. Because of my new state of awareness (staying present in the moment) I tried it again, this time it was confirmation (like no other) that if I was able to change the outcome of those dilemmas, I'm able to not only control my emotions but by leaving my ego out on the curb, the transformation to peace among all involved is not only possible but absolutely guaranteed!

I'm pretty certain if we as a "sophisticated"  society are able to spend more time in the present moment (and LIVING life) our children will not only be able to keep their innocence (forever) but adults will realize as long as guilt, shame, regret, anxiety, worry, fear, etc. control their life, the awful path of death and destruction is what will continue to be what our children are left with once their innocence is taken away...