In the lowest level of despair, is where most find God. Any other time God can't be found because the mind is lost in what doesn't matter. It's frozen in time with hurt and pain from the past and because history continues to repeat itself the mind is consistently worried about the future looking like the past.
It's during moments of hopelessness and helplessness that brings the mind to a point where it has to choose between Ego and God. Only when a chance is taken on God by stepping out on faith (because there is nothing left) is where peace is found. Because the mind is still very fragile, coincidence is typically the rationale for miracles that are always the answer to the call of God.
Because the mind is still in sleep mode (that's the only way the Ego can take over) it will stumble around in the dark, searching for the answers to questions it will never find there. Answers to any question(s) are always only found in the light. It may take more "mistakes", "errors", "failures", "disappointments", etc., to try faith out again - the size of a mustard seed is all it takes to move mountains!
History is not the determining factor here, God is! Trust Him by stepping out on sheer/blind faith because that is where ALL the answers are. The questions "what if", "how will I ", "what about", etc., will no longer matter because the Holy Spirit replaces those kinds of questions with peace of mind. At first, in fear, the steps are taken in hesitation however at one point or another they become more confident and fluent because of who God is.
Imagine stepping off a cliff - of course the first reaction is to panic, because God is not the focal point! Faith is stepping out and trusting God will meet your needs by placing His foundation to meet your footsteps until, after placing one foot in front of the other, you'll begin walking tall, then skipping, then dancing, the cart wheeling, then running!! These "steps" of faith represent the illuminated stairway to heaven because the Holy Spirit is your guide.
Keep one foot in front of the other and watch life unfold before your very eyes! Peace
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