In order to not continue the cycle of pain and struggle, you must recognize the Power of God in you. When you remember the fact that God is with you (and has never left), you'll remember because He'll never leave you, all pain and struggle are temporary.
The hurt you carry with you everyday (and go to bed with each night) is Ego's way of holding you hostage of the Past. It blames you for the condition of your current situation and because you don't remember who you are, you beg God to save you from the mess you're left to deal with.
Be encouraged by knowing your Past has nothing to do with you and everything to do with Ego. It can't afford to allow you to forget the Past by you letting it go because that is the way you'll find Peace and Ego can not exist in the presence Peace. Its purpose is to keep your mind focused on the Past (while the present moment silently slips by) convincing you the Future will be the same. This seems to make sense to you because all you see reminds you of the Past which explains your constant state of anger, sadness and depression. It's at this point suicidal thoughts begin to form because you worry, the Future will look the same or even worse which would be too much for you to bare.
You had nothing to do with the Past because it was chosen by Ego for you. You lost control when you lost sight of God and that's why your life situation seems to be in chaos. When you surrender your will to God by allowing the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to what's real and what's not, is when you'll be released from guilt, shame, anger, resentment, sadness, bitterness, etc. You will then remember the Power of God in you and be free from worrying and stressing about what the Future holds.
You will come to know Love, Joy and Peace come from within because that is where God is. Please do not believe God is a being apart from you. It's that very idea that introduces Fear, Lack, Dishonesty, Mistrust, etc. Remember God created you perfectly in His image. Because God is not a physical form, the spirit of mankind is Who God is.
Use God's Power and cast your cares aside (or better yet, in God's care) in order to bless others. The choices you make from this moment on is what determines how long your welcome of Peace lasts. Choose to let go and know God won't ever let you fall because He's got your Life in His hands (you just forgot.)
Yesterday is gone and Tomorrow is not guaranteed to you so don't spend another minute of Time on what you can't ever change and don't control. Now is what matters because it's here you're able to hear the Voice of God. Stay here and experience the Power of God in your Life. Be grateful for this moment, it's all the Holy Spirit waits on you for. Offer it to Him by acknowledging its Power to Heal and receive Joy and Peace in exchange. Peace
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